Saturday, May 27, 2006
my favorite post
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
hai to nayee phir bhi hai puraane
am at peace with a lot. thats really good. things hardly bother me much. some things do. lots dont. am chilling in my head. i fret over somethings but in time i think i can handle those too. some skeletons from the closet have been burried and put to rest. some hate and wrath has been dealt with and channelised in the right direction, i think. reading a bit now. high time. had been out of touch with my books for sometime. was feeling odd. good to catch up on my reading. re-reading 'Of Love and Other Demons', my favorite marquez book. he is GOOD. will post my two-bit on it once i am done.
project completion today. so am happy. satisfaction happens. feel lazy right now. M is coming to site today. its fun to have her around. keeps giving mad gyaan about things. hehe. now its time to run to work. take the day full on and get it over and done with. please, god help me do my paper. am worried. procrastinated it so so so much. hey raam.
do people get my blogpost titles? as in not why the posts are titled such, but the songs? i know for a fact that 'Sex and Mumbai' does. but do the others? doubt it.
ek khatma ho, to dusari raat aa jatee hai, hothon pe phir bhoole hue baat aa jaatee hai...
current colour: lime green
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
went through a bloggers block for a while. opened the 'new post' page and didnt know what to write. tried to not write about anything too personal in the past few posts. it backfires. so i decided to do my film reviews et all. thanda posts. well.
the weekend got over so so so fast. but sunday was good. brunch (which turned into lunch because we were rather late) at moshe's. the food was divine. chargrilled aubergines, nice breads, marinated olives, chicken and greens, pasta, mud pie, mousse, mango cheesecake, blueberry cheesecake and so much more. gimme a D, gimme a I, gimme a V, gimme a I, gimme a N, gimme a E.
this week is a deadline, i was sure i would miss. but i think i am going to make it. so its ok. but generally interest levels in work have nose-dived. i think i need to re-structure things at work. loads to do, i procrastinate. all the time. my aesthetics paper is due end of the week. hardly worked on it. am a bad boy. bad, bad, bad. going on a holiday next week. am excited as hell. wanted to this for so so long. almost 8 years. yay!
what else? *sigh* this is a forced post. to get back into the groove.
trying to do something interesting. non-work related. am excited. hope it works out. there's no reason why it shouldnt. so keeping my fingers crossed. chalo now i cant cant write anymore forced stuff.
current colour: ochre
Thursday, May 18, 2006
of love and other demons
someone once asked me if 'love was bridging across differences and finding a common ground'. i was 18 then. i didnt know the answer. i am 25 now. i still dont know the answer. current colour: none
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Dosar, the companion
ritudi's latest offering. very nice. much better than his last few flicks. a very cliched plot, dealt with great sensitivity. infidelity. konkona is fantabulous and so is prosenjit. she plays Kaberi, the distraught wife with so much nuance. the screenplay is tight and crisp. the cinematography is striking. the poetry and the background scores are very interesting. but i dont know why it was made in black and white. i think it was a bit affected. colour would have worked just as well or perhaps better.
the conflict within kaberi as a wife and as a woman is interesting. the potrayal is beautiful. the sub-plots of the infidelity of the friends makes it more edgy. all in all a rich film.
aamar thoth tomar thott chholom.... a poem used rather interestingly in 3 different situations. but are they really very different? the other characters like the boss, his wife, the mothers or the neighbour are very believable and add to the realness of the situation.
needless to say, sensharma looks amazing in the film. devastating and devastated!
current colour: black
Monday, May 15, 2006
Todo Sobre mi Madre (all about my mother)
Almodovar's 1999 oscar winner. brilliant. textured. most complex. nuanced at so many many levels. the incest, the trust, the disgust. dramatic. only an almodovar can pull this off. its sexy, its dark, its hilarious. cecelia roth is fantastic in the film. the use of colour in almodovar's films is art in itself. the burnt oranges, the ochres, the reds. the patterned wall papers and table clothes, the couch or the lone chiar. these create a tension of its own (atleast in my opinion). drag was never this interesting.
Qu he hecho yo para merecer esto ? (what have i done to deserve this!!)
Pedro Almodovar's 1984 noir comedy. the film is complex and packed. the characters are highly disfunctional. the pace is strange. the edit is superb. its absurdist and magical. of pet-lizards and sex. of whores and paedophiles. of adolescence and bourgeois. seeling mineral water to her own son at the dinner table. mad best.
current coluor: ochre
Saturday, May 13, 2006
mein disco, tu ek disco, duniya hai ek disco!!
a week of blog backlog. the net was not working. frustrating. but its been a good week. one very bad thing happened. i hate it. i missed my flight. felt disgusted at myself for being to irresponsible and wasting so much money. so i am on a low budget spree these day. no spending money. suits me right. and when i got back that evening, i died. to have someone suprise you at the arrival gates of a airport... to pick you... it seems so typical-romantic, but trust me, when it happens to you, you are so so so not prepared for it. its like too nice a thing to be really happening. especially if you have had a 20 hour long day. i am one lucky bastard.
the rest f the week was typical work. moderately long hours. nothing to really complain about. the weekend is finally here. seems promising. some studying needs to be done. have a paper due end of this month. but i also was to see 'Closer' again. love the film. lets see. then theres this mad party at night. i think its gonna be fun. want to see 'Dosar' tomm. Rituparno's latest. knkona and Prosonjit. i think it will be good. for a change, no aishwaria. thank god. also might go watch the salsa lot salsa away tomm. not sure again. want to do my ritual coffee tomm. with A. missed it last sunday. feel guilty.
current colour: washed out grey-brown
Saturday, May 06, 2006
ooooooo sweet child of mine
TGIF. thats what i said to myself yesterday. after some rushed work from early early morning to early evening (the mundane sorts, stupppid exel sheets) i rushed to the art show. a strange mix of works. but the space is super fantabulous. hai! then to bandra. had some authentic mutton dhan-saak for dinner. sweet. though i am not one for mutton, it was very nice. i like bawa food too. hehe. then dragged a friend out for some chai (i didnt do the dragging, i dont think it would have worked if it was me doing it ,anyways). all in all a nice evening. stayed up till late. hehe. woke up at 12.30 in the afternoon. was shocked at myself. lunch with granny and then shopping with my cousin. looking for puzzles. went to the juhu crosswork. it is SHIT. like S like H like I like T. they didnt know what puzzles are. jigsaw? no! then i went to the music section. this loser of a girl there! i asked her where the western classical section was. she asked me if i meant punjabi music. i wanted to slap her. then we were off to granth. to look for a puzzle for me and a spanish textbook for my cousin. didnt find either. but got me anorther interesting book, albeit work related. couldnt even get the lonely planet i was looking for. nevermind.
work calls for a few hours in the afternoon. got things back on track. painted for a while. new series. shaping up well. am happy with it. lets see. now off to pay my celfone bill. then buy some supplies for the week. i need to stock up food. i never have anything at home. ever. hmpf. then to meet a bunch of friend at JATC in the evening. then make plans for the night. wooohooo. hope no movie plans. lets see.
tomorrow i want to meet A for our ritua sunday coffee at the BBC. and generally catch up on my reading. then off to watch osme salsa. hope they dont drag me onto the dance floor. i cant. i swear. but zenzi is good fun, always.
current colour: eggshell white
Friday, May 05, 2006
aye sala, abhi abhi, hua yakeen
blogging while i sip strong strong black coffee. not out of choice, i just forgot to by a carton of milk. hmpf.
some people are best left in the past. friends (or something like that), who you dont identify with anymore. this one friend from the past came over last night to collect some boks of his. i wanted it over and done with, asap. dont know why. we dont have anything in common. then i rushed off to my granny's for some nice dhan-saak dinner. with brown rice, ofcourse. then rushed back to bandra (within a span of two hours of coming back from there) to meet M for a coffee. she is to leave for jaipur for a month. had to give her some stuff and wanted to catch up. she never fails to amaze me. her approach to life. i am learning from her. though she better not know that. after all i am her proffesor. hehe. nice. she is so well-rounded in her ways. so much of values. so much. hats off lady! someday, i shall too. *promises himself solemnly*
then met my baby for a late late night cheesecake.
i think i am handling life with a little more sense. at the same time, am not looking feverently for answers and meanings. have decided to do something. lets see how it goes. but am sure i want to do it. need to loosen up. am not a bussinessman. i am a creative person. i need to grow more. need to do so much more.
cant wait for the weekend. will have to work a bit on saturday morning, but thats ok. rest of the day is all for me. sunday, at last. meet loadsa friends. paint a bit. eat like mad, mad. want to meet A. i hope she has time. she is going away soon. *sigh* and want to go watch this bunch of people salsa away the night...
current colour: flesh tint
Thursday, May 04, 2006
lakdi ki kathi, kathi pe ghoda
my oldest friend doesnt understand me. its so so so sad. the other friend, i have drifted away from. cant cnnect much. distance. the third friend i dont discuss some things with. so its a little lonely in some ways. the school friends... we have over the years grown very fond of each other.
one a completely different note, it poured in paradise yesterday. i was taken off my gaurd. soaked to the skin. had taken something for granted. shouldnt have. i totally shut down. couldnt even think. didnt know if i could deal with it. flashback playing in my head. at a crazy pace. its not fair to the other person to carry baggage from a previous relationship. yes, i am still scarred, and badly so. in time i want to get rid of it. hope i can. i think i can. but the insecurity lingers. it must be burried. sometimes people dont know how much damage they have done to you. at all. well. bygones are bygones are bygones. nevermind!
a fresh slate. fresh me? you said it, you got it. taking a stance. being proactive. to make it work, whatever it takes. so much to look forward to. need to look at life from a different perspective. 25 is too soon to have just one POV. hell, any age is. na? so, well. the salty, tanned, languid, mad me is in back in proactive mode. taking life by the reins. whipping it hard and galloping ahead. the sound of the hoofs are powerful, assuring and sexy. go boy!
current colour: white
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
heaven is a place on earth
I'm not going to tell the story the way it happened. I'm going to tell it the way I remember it. having told lots of people that i could not make any plans for the weekend...i decided very on the spur of the moment i was asked, that i would go to goa. cliched as it sounds, there is something about goa that makes you unwind. i dont know if its the air, the water, the sand, the people. but i will get back to that later. so we went to goa. didnt really know 3 out of the 4 people i was going with. i had met them all once, but still. so not me to do something like this. hehe. took the bus, which was terribly late. it was cold, but i was ok. i was the olny person most comfortable in that 16 hours long journey. the others were either sick, cold or irked by the entire ordeal. the cab ride from Mapusa to Mandrem was pleasant. i didnt have much space to sit, but i liked that. it helped that all of us got along rather well. Mandrem is this little village way up north. up ahead of anjuna but south of vagator. we were the only 5 guests at the River Cat Villa. a portuguese villa turned into a hotel. a tad kitsch. but beautiful. the rooms overlooked the river, while the beach was a minutes walk from there. a deserted beach. peace like nowhere else in goa. birds chirping, the rustle of the leaves. the banana fronds, the frangipanni flowers, the hibiscus adding the colour. i carried the smallets bag in the group. 5 tee shirts, one ganji, and some shorts. didnt even wear most of them. hehe. goa. lost my shades. was heart broken for a minute. then someone cheered me up. had a bit of a crash course in french. but i had this comfortable way of switching off when i wanted to. do my thinking. and they didnt seem to mind. we got veryy little alone time, but thats ok with me. there are many more times to come. many. 3 trips in the planning already!3 days of swimming in the sea...eating the most succulent king-fish, pomfret, red snapper. big fat fresh fish. heaven. crazily spiked pinacoladas, bloody marys, kingfisher beer and breezers. the laying in sand, just where the surf mixes with the sand. made me a sand pillow and all i did was lie there and let the waves lash at me. the games we played in the water. on the sand. the card games in cafe lila, my favorite cafe in goa. by the baga river. smoked kingfish and aubergine pate and croissants and lotsa of noise. i think we woke up the entire cafe with our mad game. the smell of pot in the air. the platters of fish, the numerous dips in the water. the showers and the numerous hammocks at the villa. it was all spiked with love. an so much of it. it was perfect..the last time i was in goa, was over newyears. this is what i said...goa over new years. nothing but sheer indulgence. spoilt me. goan lunches. english breakfasts, italiano dinners...the good life. lazy long brunches at cafe lila's (not to confuse with the fancy hotel) beautiful little place by the baga river creek. chicken pate', sour dough bread, smoked fish (sex is nothing compared to this kingfish...please trust me). smoothies and shakes, cheese and croissants. aaah. authentic goan food (but terrible terrible service) at martins in south goa. my goan friend j who was with us on the trip was on a 'goa pride' mode and wanted us to sample everything local...xacuti, local bread, fish preperations, the works. little snippets from him about old goa. st augutine's star which was a beautiful ruins. will post pics if my friend b ever gives em to me. swimming in the sea is so liberating! j and i went bonkers. spent a good amount of time with him for the first time. bonded like nobodies business. over common interests (to shallow to write about...haha). port wine, cashew feni with mirch and orange drink (vile), good old sula, breezers (pansy drink and all, but ok if its between sessions or real drinking) on the beach, beer by the gallon on the beach beds, fresh lime sodas for breakfast.
the most beautiful night was the night of 1st jan 2006. 6 bloody mary's (just for a frigging 100bucks each... i wana live on anjuna) and a peaceful beach. clear sky, stars, walking alone on the deserted beach, faintr music in the background, and those little fish which light up...at my feet. it was lke walking under stars and on stars. have never ever been so happy. at peace. c'est la vie. it is!
went with a bunch of friends with whom i have developed over a short apell of time (a little over a year) a great comfort level. we were all just being our selves. priorities didnt clash. we all are gluttons (new year confessions and all). shopped some. got back guava cheese (divine) and coffee liquer and cherry brandy liquer (cant spell the word) and some flip flops. sand in my soul.
all in all a perfect trip. all i wanted and more (except for the shady club we partyed at which was more of a pick up joint for aging firangs and the fact that i didnt get laid...i tried and so hard...hehe). if you have noticed, the blog is getting more honest this year.
getting back to bombay was a rude shock, to say the least. wasnt prepared for the onslaught. need to go back. .current colour: sea green