my oldest friend doesnt understand me. its so so so sad. the other friend, i have drifted away from. cant cnnect much. distance. the third friend i dont discuss some things with. so its a little lonely in some ways. the school friends... we have over the years grown very fond of each other.
one a completely different note, it poured in paradise yesterday. i was taken off my gaurd. soaked to the skin. had taken something for granted. shouldnt have. i totally shut down. couldnt even think. didnt know if i could deal with it. flashback playing in my head. at a crazy pace. its not fair to the other person to carry baggage from a previous relationship. yes, i am still scarred, and badly so. in time i want to get rid of it. hope i can. i think i can. but the insecurity lingers. it must be burried. sometimes people dont know how much damage they have done to you. at all. well. bygones are bygones are bygones. nevermind!
a fresh slate. fresh me? you said it, you got it. taking a stance. being proactive. to make it work, whatever it takes. so much to look forward to. need to look at life from a different perspective. 25 is too soon to have just one POV. hell, any age is. na? so, well. the salty, tanned, languid, mad me is in back in proactive mode. taking life by the reins. whipping it hard and galloping ahead. the sound of the hoofs are powerful, assuring and sexy. go boy!
current colour: white