aristera says

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Space and indian parents

Sadly, for indian parents ( I know I am generalizing) there is no concept of space. They do not think their children need space. Not when they are little, not even when they are adolescents, and sadly not even when they are adults. Its fine if one lives with the parents and gradually this absence of space grows on you. I cant put it in a better way. Its like you don’t know how it is like to have the space so its fine. But once you have lived away from home, for a while, and that too god forbid completely on your own, your tolerance levels nosedive. And being the indian kid that you are, you feel guilty as hell about it too. We are a warped lot, I tell you.

I TOTALLY understand what you mean! I am back here after 5 years of being away. And, LORD HAVE MERCY! It's not just the's EVERYONE (relatives mainly) who have not grasped the concept of "personal space" and privacy. And I feel guilty about feeling like way because I know that they have always been that way and they don't consider it weird at all :-(
Also, maybe we could get together to make a plan to shoot Ekta...she's spoiling it for Indian women. I loathe her and I wish Indian men are not stupid enough to believe that the definition of a "good" wife revolves around how long the wife sits at her mom-in-law's or grand -mom-in- law's feet. I am not saying that doing this is wrong. It's the lady's choice - but THAT DOES NOT MAKE HER THE "PERFECT BAHU"!
i too relate to are not wrong in generalizing when you say concept of space is non-existant for indian parents.even though i continue stay with my parents i cannot make peace with the idea of absence of space.
I've just spent the entire day replying on the hour to another friend complaining about exactly the same thing (and more - you know who I'm talkin about here) and man am I tired of hearing about how our folks don't understand us or our need for space/privacy!
(Expecting to be chastised, but what the's been a long day and I don't like msging THAT much!)
awww and patpatpat. thankfully, my mum leaves me alone... mostly. or atleast when she's sulking.

Geet, sometimes, kunal and aparna are right... i know. her mommy calls ME!!!!
Frankly, I think we need to do our bit to tell our parents that we need space... maybe they just never realised that we are getting suffocated.

Its worked for me atleast... and I'm happy my parents got my hints.
know what you mean - whenever I go home or they come to bombay thats a perpetual issue.
hehehe... my poor mum hates dat i drink beer, and she sez it's a bad habit and i'll get a pot belly. well, at least she's not wrong on point number rwo. ;-)
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